What if….?

These two words “What” and “if” are so powerful that, if we put them together, they have the capacity to haunt us throughout our lives….

What if… What if… What if….

I am always wondering and exploring the possibilities of things which could have happened. My list of “What if’s” is bigger than “What is..” . I am great full for everything that has happened in my life. I have had my share of ups and downs, highs and lows. We all have. That’s what life is about- 50 shades of everything. My “What if” thoughts are the passport for me, they drive me back to my sanity, they give me hope, they give me an opportunity to believe that, one day, it will all be good.

Flaws of life can be well decorated with the garland of “What if” – Dil behlaane ke liye, ye khayal acha hai! Kyun, Ghalib Miyaan?

But, like I said, these words can haunt you too, they haunt me. My “What if’s ” are my guilty pleasure and my “What is” is surely affected by it. I feel claustrophobic in the reality, hence, every now and then, I take pleasure ride to the Wonderland of “What if’s”

Kaash Aisa hua hota, to Aaj shayad….. (Heartbreak)

Is it okay to dream of all possibilities, which could have changed the way life is? I am scared of reality, I am running away from it. How do I escape my wonderland? What shall I do, to get back to “What is”, because my “What if’s” hurt.

It’s strange, how thinking about certain impossible possibilities can give me so much joy and simultaneously, it can make sad. Because, it’s nothing, but my very own Palace of Illusions.

God, even while writing all this, I feel, I am lost.

How, will I ever stop living in “What if” and embrace my life as it comes.


Page #2 Am I losing my sanity ? Or I have already lost it?


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