Wandering Mind

Jaane kya dhundta hai ye mera dil, tujhko kya chahie zindagi….

Today, the most difficult question in my life is, “What do I want?” Does this happen to you too? It’s my life and I am all clueless about it. I have no idea, what I aspire for! Where do I want to see myself after a year or a decade? No! I don’t have answer to my own question.

I am all calm, on the outer side but, deep inside me, there’s chaos. Just like my name, Galaxy. I am a mystery to myself. A chaotic mystery. What’s hidden deep in my heart, what’s going on in my mind… I have no clue. People around me, my family and friends, often ask me the same question- “What exactly is it that your heart yearns for?” “What are your goals?” and all I can reply is – PATA NAHIN…

How do you solve your own mind’s mystery? How do you meet your own self. I am nothing but a wandering mind. My thoughts, they are far from reality. I think, I overthink too… I am living Alice (Alice of Wonderland). Of course, I dream about impossible, becoming possible. My dreams are vague, they are distant from reality. I am a hero in my dreams. The perfect one. I love playing the roles of my favourite protagonist, every now and then. Sometimes, I think I have lost my sanity. Sometimes, I think, maybe it’s because I am not doing anything that would keep me at bay from my wandering mind.

There’s definitely a problem. A problem so big, that I have decided not to see it. I ignore it. Simple!

Maharaj often, repeats, what Swamiji preached

सखी सरलता साध ले, टेडापन दे छोड़

द्वार बाहरी बंद कर, भीतर के पट खोल

How do I do this? Close the doors of outwardly space and meet my inner self. Is it possible? I don’t know. I have no answers today, but, I would solve myself, I would solve my riddle. I would know, what exactly do I want. Till then, let’s explore.

You can be part of my self-exploration journey too. Help me! find myself. And if you can’t help me, just be there, looking out for me, I will soon find my way back.

I will!

I know, I will!

Page #1 of Let’s find Galaxy

Words…..

alfaaz jo khud ko khud se milaaye

I am sinking. Lost in my own nowhere, finding an escape. Will words help me?
What do you do to find yourself? How do you become your own anchor? How do you take charge of your own life to end miseries and start afresh.
At this moment, I can’t even describe who I am.. seriously, has it ever happened to you, that you become an alien to yourself. There is this battle going inside me, hai sach kya aur jhoot kya, main kaun hoon mera vajood kya…

And in middle of all this chaos, all I have is my parents, my gurus and my words.

Here, I am, writing my first blog, knowing nothing about it, having no clue what my blogs would be about, I am setting a foot on a journey to find myself through my words. living one day at a moment, winning a little battle everyday. Being my own knight in shining armour and rescuing my own self from the fears and depression I am sinking into. For those, who, believe in me, have faith that this is the only way to conquer my demons.

“hum kis gali jaa rahe hai, apna koi thikana nahin..”